He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
