super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
