What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
