She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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