i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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