i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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