Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
