i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Randomize
