Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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