I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
