i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
