Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
