The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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