Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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