I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
