I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
