Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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