I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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