This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
