I want to have your abortion
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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