I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
