A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
