Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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