Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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