God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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