You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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