Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
