Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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