I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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