accomplished twins. life is a go
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
