I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
