areolas are like halos for boobs.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
