Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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