Quick, to the slutcave!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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