I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
