you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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