Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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