He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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