I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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