we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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