I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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