dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
