I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
