make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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