just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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