Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
