hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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