I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
