What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
