What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
