I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
