yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
