he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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