He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
