I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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