One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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