Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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