yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
