How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
