You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
