In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
